Scream baby screeaaaaam...

Enough of waiting for the world to see the good in you. Stop being a fool. Long gone are the days when silence used to speak with a resounding roar. It’s a different world now. It’s all filled with fuckin people (am no exception baby) who don’t listen to you unless you scream right at their goddamn faces. You are not the kind to run away and you are also not the kind to just stay. You have nothing to lose now. And thank fuckin god that you have been escaped from the emptiness of the life at ease. Can’t you just hear that merciless and evil laugh of the people around you who think you are done for good. Let them know you are not yet dead baby. Enough of trading your happiness for the pain. Yes it was one big fuckin mistake you have been thrown into this filthy world. So what… be a selfish ruthless bitch, have no emotions, close your eyes to kindness and love. It’s time you muster up the strength. Scream to let out the hatred that has been building up your insides. Scream before it’s too late, before it bursts out. The world doesn’t listen when you speak with desperation and sorrow. It does when your voice is filled with anger and rage. Let it hear you, let it fear you baby. Scream baby scream…

Revenge is a dish best served cold…

He was there looking at the man, he hated most. He wondered whether ‘hate’ was the right word. It was far more than that. He shuddered trying to figure out how could that much evil lie behind those sweet charming blue eyes. No regret ran through him. Instead he loved it when he saw the man lying helplessly on floor with both hands tied together behind his back, with a look in his eyes asking forgiveness for the sins, he dint remember doing. He always knew he could outwit the man. But it had taken quite a time. At first he thought of playing with his emotions, but he knew better. The man he was dealing with was an emotionless bastard. Hence he went for his only weakness – a lust for women. So all he had to do to convince the man to come with him was to mention the name ‘Benny’. The job was done and finally there he was, begging for his mercy… He derived pleasure when he looked around at the place. He couldn’t have chosen a better one. His choice was accurate, flawless. It was a secluded building, away from the town, deep in the woods, where no human could lay his sight on. It was late in the evening and already raining heavily. The wood paneled floor was cold and damp, the air was still and the idea of committing a sin (he preferred to call it ‘justice’ though) was irresistible. Torrent of rain was savagely drumming against the window glass panes. Suddenly a flash of lightning lit everything that was in the room in a pale blue light and when he saw the face of the man clearly, the urge in him to seek vengeance intensified. But he was determined to take it slow. That was the moment, he had been desperately waiting for nine years and he wanted to savor every second of what he was going to do.

He tried to concentrate on the job ahead of him. But he couldn’t help his thoughts drifting way back to his younger days. He could still see his dad’s face clearly, as if it was only the previous day they had departed… His mom died as she gave him birth and that made his dad the only world for him. He loved his dad and the old man loved his son way more than that for living his dearest wife’s life. The boy played, fought, laughed out and shared every little secret he could think of with his dad. They were never meant to be separated… He was nine. It was a sunny day and they were playing a game where the old man had to find his boy, no matter where he was hidden. The boy hid himself under the bed in a corner of the drawing room, where no one could possibly see him. Then he heard a knock on the front door. A smile spread across his face when he thought of the tricks his dad used to get him out of his hidden place and that was one of them. He stayed there still, determined not to lose to his father that time. After a few seconds, he could barely listen to two disembodied voices from the front room, one of which was his dad’s. Few minutes passed by as he stayed there, and there were no voices anymore. A feeling of ‘something not right’ swept across him, and he finally decided to step out and walked silently to the door. He just couldn’t believe his eyes; he felt nauseous and nearly fainted. His dad was lying in a pool of blood, unconscious, even dead perhaps (he just couldn’t just stand the very thought of it). Standing across him was a man in a rich black suit, with a glint of content in his blue eyes and he carried an indefinable brilliance with him. A chill ran down the boy’s spine when he heard of that man’s cold voice clearly for the first time … “Being merciless is the only way a man can survive Mr. Parker”. He wanted to scream, but all the words were strangled in his throat. The man was too dumb to notice the boy standing at the door; he should have better known that it was going to cost him his life some day. Then the man dropped his blood stained knife in the blood pool and left away. The boy dragged himself towards his dad, with a painful pounding in his head, tears cutting like razorblades across his swollen cheeks, and found his only dearest one dead… As the days passed by, emotions disappeared down the endless corridor of time and all that was left was a cold hollow echo. A part of him had died and he knew it never could be recovered. He hanged the same blood stained knife just beside the mirror, always in sight, as a talisman of evil, as a reminder of what that man had done to him and his dad. He became an avenging phoenix rising from the ashes of memories of the past. Revenge kept him living…

He was there looking at the man’s face. It was all the same except there were lines around his eyes and mouth that had not been there nine years ago. And the eyes… they still looked sweet, but instead of brilliance they were filled with apprehension. “Dwight, what the fuck I have done…?” he yelled in helplessness and this brought all his senses back. He suddenly realized that the man had been shouting and begging for the past few minutes. He purposely dint paste a tape over his mouth. He wanted him to speak, to cry, to scream… he wondered if he had turned in to a man, he had always feared he was going to: a lunatic, a psycho killer… But at that moment, he dint care. He needed to embrace who he was, who he had always been. He had to do it, and he dint want to kill that man in a simple way. He deserved more. He finally spoke “I’ll let you out of here… what do I get?”. A spark of hope spread across the man’s face. He anxiously spoke like a child, stammering “I’ll get any-anything for you. Co-cocaine, girls, cash. I’ll I’ll…”. He was not listening to any of his words and he enjoyed himself looking at the state of the man he led in to. He dint feel that good in years. He just wanted to hold out the hope of life to him and then destroy him. He wanted to end it in a cold way. It was worth going to hell for. The man was eagerly waiting for his answer. He took a deep breath and said “Good bye, Rufus”. In a split of a second, the man’s face turned pale, as though a light switch had been turned off. He took a chain-saw and worked its magic on the man’s flesh. The man screamed, writhed in agony but not for so long. Death carried everything away. The man was frozen in his last terrible moment of living. The man’s blood was all over the place and he laughed with pure, hateful, blood thirsty joy of the return of evil for evil. Finally he had found mysterious Holy Grail that he had been looking for. It relieved him of the pain and the hatred. The quest was over. The score was evened.

It was crazy calm. He stepped outside the building. It was no longer raining and there was a chill in the air. He had been living under water, holding his breath. Now he could finally breathe. He lit a cigarette.

P.S:

Rufus Hartigan – he is “The Man”

Dwight Parker – he is “The He”

James Parker – he is “His Dad”

Benny – she is “You Know”

Flash lash... crap rap

The other day when we were playing cards (while smoking all the same time) in my room, one of the fellows dint bother to drop the ash in the ashtray and instead dropped it on the floor. I tried to ignore such an act and continued playing hoping that he won’t be doing that anymore (after all I have faith in my friends…huh). When he repeated the same for the second time, I really got pissed off and I have thrown a warning look at him (which I am utterly incapable of …but yet again I have tried)… to which he replied “what’s the problem mate… anyway your room looks like a mess… a speck of ash doesn’t matter, be practical”. People around me were laughing and I was in a dilemma whether to join them in laughing or to punch that guy right in the face. Anyway we continued playing…

What he said was absolutely true and there was no way I could deny that. So the very next day took up the detestable job of cleaning and clearing every single useless thing in the room. I was almost determined to make the room unrecognizable to anyone who cared to look at it. After dumping all the cigarette buds, empty match boxes, chocolate wrappers and crap into the bin, it was time to clear all the news papers which have been piled up for more than a year. So when collecting all the papers from here and there, one Metro plus edition caught my attention. It was the article about men who are fed up with their respective girl friends/wives' attitudes. I was sure that I dint read that article before (no wonder… in fact most of the news papers were untouched). So I started reading it and to my surprise found it funny…finally laughed out after a quite a time…

So thought of being the one to induce smile on your faces as well… here it goes

“Rules Guys Wish Girls Know”

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

2. Do not cut your hair ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair and by then, you are stuck with her.

3. Birthdays, valentines, anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again.

4. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

5. Shopping is not a sport, and no! we are never going to think of it that way.

6. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really you have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.

7. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints don’t work. Strong hints don’t work. Obvious hints never work. Just say it.

8. Mark the anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us beforehand.

9. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all the comments become null and void after seven days.

10. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done – not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

11. The relationship is never going to be like it was in the first two months we were going out. Get over with it. and quit whining to your girl friend like their relationship is so much better.

12. We are not mind readers and never will be. Our lack of mind reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing’, we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it just not worth the hassle.

when Death strikes...

A tribute to one of the finest and versatile actors in South Indian Film Industry – ‘Raghuvaran’

It came as a blow for me when I learnt of the news y’day. We, the living ones will inevitably be the spectators of many deaths that take place during our lives… but only a few leave a void in our hearts. This surely is one of those few. I have literally grown up watching this elegant villain on the screen. And the fact that I won’t be seeing him anymore makes me restless.

His distinctly different use of a cultured, baritone voice in a peculiarly slow, deliberate dialogue-delivery set him apart from the rest. I had always been a bitter critic all my life, but I loved this man, loved his unique style of dialogue delivery, loved the way he characterized the villain roles with panache. He had carved a niche for himself as a supporting actor as well. One just can not easily forget the outstanding performances of this ‘Kalaimamani’ award winning actor in films like - Shiva, Anjali, Basha, Suswagatham, Mudhalvan, Anaganaga oka Roju and so on… The character “Bhavani’ in the film Shiva portrayed by this man will forever be etched in my mind.

He made me to hate him… love him… and now making me to cry for him... you are one hell of an actor man... Miss you

Frozen Time...

Disclaimer : The two leading characters ‘He’ and ‘She’ described in the following post are fictitious and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

The clock ticked and it said 18.31. There he sat smoking by the window in the darkness, holding a coffee… watching the distant sun sinking low in to the earth’s crust… thinking how this world had turned up side down for him overnight. It had been almost 200 days since she had left him when he needed her most. And each day seemed like a year for him as if the time was frozen…he was lost, everything was shutting upon him and he wondered whether he was stuck in a tunnel with no light at the end, with no idea which way to go. There he sat, with a greeting card on the table before him which he had purchased spending 3 hours in the stores the previous morning, hoping that he could send a card on her birthday. The day had finally come, but the card was still with him untouched. With no prior notice, tears ran down his cheeks, spilled on to the card and got absorbed into a heart shaped love symbol. Then in an instant it started to rain as if the nature was trying to console him “I am with you” with its watery drops. He tried to smile looking at the heart on the card, but his lips seemed hesitant to oblige his intended actions. Instead a hysterical laugh spread across his face, a laugh which showed pity at his awful pathetic state. A state where he dint have any contact address or a mobile number of his loved one to wish her, a state where he was helplessly waiting for someone like me to write a post to wish her and to let her know how much he was missing her. So here I am, to wish his (or is it should be ‘used to be his’?) dear one.

Just few days after the tragic separation happened, the cruel reality left him with only two choices: Remember and be sad – or – Forget and be happy. Though everyone around him said that the second choice was the best thing to do, he chose the former one since he knew that the only reason why he was still alive was her ‘unrusted memories’. Leaving her memories behind would only kill him. In a way, he lived the past. He always knew he just couldn’t break off from her sticky chains and in the first place, he never tried enough to. He was literally stuck there in a room filled with nothing but merciless loneliness and grief. Only she held the key to unlock him from that, but she chose not to. He screamed and screamed “I don’t deserve this”, but none of his screams couldn’t penetrate the thick walls of the room. So there was no way his friends could know about how much hurt was there behind those poor eyes, only he knew. And he was tired of pretending to be happy in front of his friends. Even he thought how much thought he should have given about the pain he will go through. The happiness he had longed for was all gone…One stupid mistake, one stupid crush, one stupid love was all it took. And he was paying the price for not thinking before his actions. She took the best of him away. But he never was exhausted hoping with all his heart. His heart no longer gasped for air, but for her. He loved her for what she had been to him and hated her for what she had done to him. He missed her as much as he loved her…

There he sat fighting the battles no one knows… remembering the past, though it caused nothing but pain, and he invited the pain with a fake smile on his lips as long as she was a part of it. There he sat thinking of the best times they had together talking to each other, those lovely jokes, her standard ‘he he he’s… though it only made him feel even worse. Then with astounding bitterness, came to his mind, her last words “don’t try to contact me anymore”. He never knew he had an ability to endure this much pain.

There he sat thinking of her and turned to look at the clock and it said it was only 18.32.

Belief in not to believe…

This post is dedicated to all of my few fellow atheists, who have real guts to deny the existence of “God” (oops, is it English?). I wonder all the time how can theists attribute all their successes, for which they deserve the applause and give credit to a virtual superhuman subject, they dint even see. I never understood… is it because of the fear they do it or are they simply dumb fools? I agree that even I was once a theist (actually brought up as one) and I have never forgiven myself for being one. Thank god for making me not to believe in u anymore…

Yea…here’s the most wonderful logic that has ever come up, which supports atheism…
"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?" --- Epicurus

But do we really need any of all this shit to prove the point? Man, we all know Bible is man made and as said in Da-vinci Code, it was not faxed from heaven. And also what can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof. Thus the indisputable idea of atheism emerges…

And I like to mention a few pros of being an atheist:

--U need not be scared of any goddamn one…u can commit as many crimes n sins as u wish without having any slightest fear in ur mind of going to hell. And even when u step over ur subject books, u dont have to plead with Goddess Saraswathi to forgive u and still get the same marks.

--U need not spend hours n hours worshipping n chanting useless mantras in the name of god. U can probably use that time productively, impressing ur new girl friend.

--Being an atheist, there won’t be any necessity of throwing ur money in a hundi. Instead u can spend that for less fortunate people. In case u aren’t that an ideal person, u can just have a beer and doze off.

--When u are utterly bored, u can pick up a fight with ur friends in a few seconds. Just start blaspheming some god or other. And his fucking fan club will get enraged in an instant. Telling u guys, it would certainly lead to a hell of a damn interesting debate which can last for hours and still u wont lose for sure…

Hmm but according to Oscar Wilde -- 'the only problem with being an atheist is that you have nobody to talk to while you're getting a blow job'...

So my dear theists…Enough damage done…u don’t need to beg him/her (who knows) for things ur capable of. Only sheep need a shepherd. Let him not guide u guys anymore, lets guide him and show his way out from this universe… Stop praying…Start thinking…

And few existing intelligent atheists, lets raise our voice…lets take the responsibility on our shoulders of counseling the people who are suffering from a delusion called religion n superpower.

May God mess you… Amen…

What If...

Bonjour people… To be brutally frank, the following post of mine may sound funny to u… may irritate you… may also excite you (a fat chance though). So go through this at your own risk and fuckin dare you ever blame me if you go schizophrenic at the end of the post. No kidding… telling you, I hold no responsibility for anything that might happen to you (which I am sure of)…

Dunno when I actually developed this crazy theory (yes, it’s a theory dammit). But I have lived with this one for quite a long time now. So I have finally decided to share my thoughts with this world and enlighten some ignorant souls around me. And I bet my ass that almost 80% of the people who start reading this one will quit it in the middle thinking ‘what fuckin crap is this’. Again I don’t give a damn. So for the rest 20%... go on… steam ahead…

Yea got it…enough bull crap… lets get straight down to business. The topic under discussion is this: “Why do individuals’ tastes differ”… Sounds pretty obvious to you??? Hell no, its not that simple at least for me… I mean why do peoples tastes differ in an alarming fashion when all are Homo sapiens in the first place… Why some people like the color Blue and some Red… Why some love sweets where as some hate ‘em... What could be the reason for this unexplained intriguing phenomenon??? Hmm … Before you come up with any goddamn theories of your own, let me put forward my ideas first.

The fundamental idea of my theory is as follows: “Tastes of every individual on this earth are exactly the same, except that they sound different to us”

Couldn’t make anything out of it??? Let me try to illustrate it clearly (hopefully)… I better deal first with the simplest of all ‘The colors’ and then generalize the idea for the rest later in the course. Consider two fictitious characters A and B. And suppose their favorite colors are Blue and Red respectively. So we just need to find out where this difference in their tastes has come from...

Consider this story: When A was a kid, he gets fascinated by a certain color (which color we dunno yet), which we call as Blue (the color of an ocean). And since all the people around him call that color as Blue, he also begins to think that the name of that color is Blue. So when he says his favorite color is Blue, we all think that the ‘color of an ocean’ is his favorite color, which may not probably be true in most of the cases. The point we are ignoring here is that – He may not be actually viewing ‘the color of an ocean’ in his mind when he looks at the color named Blue, but may be some other very dark color (the color of the night – Black). Here is the thing: Though he is actually looking at very dark color (Black), he thinks the name of that color as Blue and hence he says “My favorite color is Blue”. Same is the case when he dislikes a specific color. Suppose he doesn’t like a very light color (color of peace – White). Assume that he looks at a color, which we all call as Green (color of leaves) and says “I hate this color”. This could be due to the fact that, he might have viewed that light color White when he looked at the color, universally called as Green.

Here I have assumed that A likes very dark color (Black) and hates very light one (White). And as mentioned above, this theory states that the tastes of every individual are exactly the same. So there is no other option left for B, except to like very dark color and dislike very light color. But unlike A, B may actually view the very dark color Black only when he looks at the color, let us say named Red (color of blood) by this world. Similarly he probably views the light color White in his mind only when he looks at the color named Yellow (color of Aussies). That could be the reason why B says “I love Red and hate Yellow”

All I have been trying to say, yelling for the past few minutes is that: Though the statements of A (love Blue – hate Green) and B (love Red – hate Yellow) look distinct from each other, their both tastes converge with this: “Their love for Black and hatred for White”. Now have a look at the pic (five Korean girls). All the five girls there look almost identical except for their weird hair colors. Suppose say that I like the girl with Blue hair and you like the one with Red hair. Don’t even try to think that I am entirely different from you. Probably we share a passion for a common color (no one knows what it is). But you view that common color in your mind when you look at Red and for me, I view it only when I look at Blue. So we like the same color, yet we point at the different ones. So when you look at something, don’t be so damn sure that it would look the same for every one in this world. Think twice my dear people…Am sure there would have been times, when you wondered looking at some couple: “Why is such a beautiful girl dating that fellow. He looks like a nerd”. Who knows??? It’s possible that he may be looking like George Clooney or Tom Cruise to her. So guys don’t take anything for granted.

The same is probably true for every goddamn thing in this world – Odors, Sounds, Tastes etc…For example burgers may taste so yummy to you… they may taste like crap to someone like me. In case I like pizzas, it’s probably because, pizzas taste to me exactly the same way what burgers taste to you. And people please again note that, here also our tastes are the same.

Oops… Guess I am a success in confusing you with this insane idea of mine. Just thought of letting you know. And I encourage you from time to time and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic (lolzz…if you call it so). If you are unconvinced a particular idea I have mentioned above is the wisest, tell me so and allow me to convince you. But I can assure that it will only cause further unnecessary annoyance to your already exhausted poor brains.

Declaration: I hereby declare that this work was neither reproduced nor inspired from any of the existing theories. It’s purely the genuine work of a genius. And I also like to issue the rights to sue me, if you think that you have wasted your invaluable time by reading this post… Gracias…Adios...